Thu, 05/03/2007 - 11:32am

I don’t confess to know a lot about everything, or a little about anything, but I do know something about one thing – DC Radio Morning Shows. More specifically, those geared towards spitting Hip Hop and R&B. Let’s go down the list, shall we? You have Russ Parr on 93.9, Donnie Simpson on 95.5, Steve Harvey on 96.3 and Tom Joyner on 102.3. Russ and Donnie probably have listeners in their 20’s and 30’s while Steve and Tom cater toward older listeners. If you’re looking around for the women DJ’s, please take a number and wait until your name is called – there are none. But wait, they all have female sidekicks so does that count? Well, everyone except Donnie Simpson, what’s up with that?

So let’s start with Donnie “you’re so not funny anymore” Simpson. I grew up watching Donnie when he use to be on BET. Back then, he was cool, he was young, he was fresh and he was occasionally funny. Now, he’s trying too hard with all of the above. I dread listening to his voice on the radio, but I’ve come to the realization that it’s not so much him, as it is his partner in crime Chris Paul. Whenever I listen to Chris, I just think, ‘this is exactly what a fat person sounds like’. Rude? Yes. But true. There’s a reason why some people should be seen and not heard but for Chris, it’s both. He breathes hard and talks with this sort of nasally voice and well, he just sounds like a fat person. If you’re fat, and offended, then my job is done here, because as a member of Club Chubby too, I am hereby revoking his membership. Between the two of them, they simply try too hard to be funny and nothing they say even triggers a smile. It’s almost as if they’re talking amongst themselves and forget they’re on the air, and are suppose to be entertaining. The show has a character called “Huggie Low Down” that joins the dynamic duo and adds his two cents every now and then, and he tends to have a big fan base, but I haven’t been overly amused by his random spurts of opinionated dialogue. So to Donnie and Chris, I give you a D+. To 95.5, please begin the recruitment process immediately to replace the wonder twin powers. You be bucket, I’ll be water…and let’s put this fire out as soon as possible.

I shake my head in disgust as I begin to share with you my sheer disappointment in 96.3 picking up the Steve Harvey morning show. If you’ve ever seen Steve Harvey do stand-up comedy, you know that he’s loud, occasionally obnoxious, and drags jokes on forever! This is not good for morning radio people! As a comedian, I understand that you always have to get your funny on but must we make a joke about every little thing? Here’s a joke Steve – The 80’s called and they want their fluorescent suits back. Let it go Steve, and please stop screaming, it is totally un-necessary and annoying. To you, I give a C- and a big shove out of the door, you’ve been nexted.

If I was forced to listen to 102.3 in the mornings, I wouldn’t be mad. The Tom Joyner morning show is pretty funny. I confess that I use to listen to them in college, but back then, there weren’t a lot of options. Now that I think about it, the show hasn’t changed much, and that was in the mid 90’s. The combination of the on-air personalities is a good mix and their daily mini soap-opera “It’s your World” keeps you coming back for more; kind of forces you actually. I love the consistency of the show, the good things that Tom does in the community and the fact that the music caters to more mature adults. It’s definitely #2 on my list and worth a listen; so to Tom and the crew, I give you a B, keep up the good work. Sidebar – Tom, how in the world did you manage to get with Donna Richardson? You go boy!

All of this brings me to my favorite radio show – The Russ Parr Morning Show. I’ve been a fan of this show for a long time and if you’ve ever tuned in, you know why. Russ’s posse includes four other on-air personalities, all of which are unique in their own way and add their own distinct flavor to the show. It’s hard to get out of the house in the morning listening to their show. If they’re not giving out the comedic horoscope for the day, then you have a host of characters that call in to give them a hard time and add hysteria. You have May Ling, Hector and Miss Mabel. And then of course we can’t forget the celebrities that call in – Denzel Washington, Michael Jackson and Mickey Mouse (voices impersonated). If you’re culturally sensitive, this is not the show for you because their jokes are borderline racially insensitive, but ultra-funny. At times, you may actually learn something if you listen long enough. Russ often has very strong opinions about the government, the war and the president and allows callers to call in to express their opinions on almost every topic discussed. Debates happens, people are challenged and views are heard. Each summer the crew goes around to various cities that they are syndicated in, and have Back to School Bus Tours, providing school supplies to kids. They also have times when they will allow companies free advertising for the day for donating towards helping the troops. It’s a smart, funny show and for all of that, I give the show an A because yes, that’s my DJ.

About the author

Stephanie M. Parker hails from Dale City, Virginia (little DC), but currently lives in DC. Here for 6 years now, she has become familiar with what DC has to offer – from dance performances to community fundraisers to nightclubs, she enjoys it all. A break-dancer in her previous lifetime, Steph enjoys hanging out with her friends and writing down personal experiences. She can be reached at Elleh_cim@yahoo.com

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